Has fear ever held you back from going after your dreams? Maybe it was a new job? Or starting a business? Or approaching the man or woman of your dreams?
Did you know that fear is one of the biggest reasons (if not the biggest) why people don't go after their dreams? It could be fear of failure, fear of success or fear of the unknown.
In this post, I want to share an experience I had a few months ago, what I learned from it and how you can overcome the fear of going after your dreams.
One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do.”
– Henry Ford
An Experience I Had On Fear
In 2011 I started my online business, which is the same as this one – it was just called My Platinum Life back them. After about a year I started making an awesome income from it – something I had never experienced and, at one point, I didn't even know it was possible. It really allowed my wife and I to experience some amazing things in life!
However, at the beginning of 2014 I got the not-so-brilliant idea of starting a traditional business. My reasoning behind it was that I wanted to teach traditional business, therefore I had to learn it first hand.
Starting a traditional business was seriously one of the worst decisions I've ever made – although I don't regret it. First, it was a completely different game to an online business. The learning curve was huge with so many issues arising from a lack of control in certain areas.
This business really took a toll on me physically and emotionally, and it was also affecting my relationship with my wife. I was constantly stressed out and anxious because new issues keep coming up and, even though I got them sorted out and kept improving on the systems, this was just the nature of that game. I was also working 70+ hours per week and would often be away from home from 6am until 7pm.
The Turning Point
I remember one night at dinner, I was stressed to the max with a huge migraine and my wife, Dacia, said to me that she couldn't handle it anymore. My negative vibes were really affecting her and she said to me that she couldn't do this anymore – that I had to do something about it or she doesn't know what she's going to do. This really scared me because I didn't want to lost my family because of some stupid business I didn't want to be doing.
Dacia also told me that she's not happy because I'm not happy anymore. This got my attention and I questioned her “Really? I'm not happy?” She told me that I was only happy when I'd have a win here and there, but I wasn't fulfilled-happy. I then asked her “Have I ever been happy?” She said that I had been when I was only doing the online business. This took me back to those times and I remembered how amazing our lives were! That night I made a decision that I had to do something about this and before I lose the most important thing to me – my family.
A Discovery I Made
Two nights later, I was in my office and I got the idea of figuring out how many tasks I do in my traditional business vs my online business. I wrote them all down on my whiteboard and I came up with 45 different tasks for the traditional business and only 5 tasks for my online business – I couldn't believe the difference. This exercise made me realise why I was stressed out all the time. I was doing so many tasks, it was no wonder I never had any time to enjoy life.
The Fear Of It All
Before all this happened, I was so fearful to jump back into my online business full-time because I thought “what if I can't make it happen again.” I was clinging onto the “security” of my traditional business, which now I realise was just an illusion I had created in my mind. The traditional business had got us into some debt, two companies that owed us large amounts of money went under, we discovered that the product we were using wasn't very good, and more issues kept arising – there was absolutely no security in that business.
What Life Is Like Now
When I finally made the decision to let go of it and go full-time in my online business, my biggest reason was my family. I was then so ecstatic when I started making an income from my online business two weeks after going full-time. And that fact that I'm now solely focused on one simple business, it has allowed me to learn so much about internet marketing and create awesome results – without stress. And the best part is that I'm always home with my family!
So what can you take away from my experience?
1. Get leverage within yourself
If you're not happy with where you're at, find as many reasons for why you MUST make the change – the more reasons, the more leverage you'll have. Without enough strong reasons, you'll just keep procrastinating because of fear.
One way to do it is to associate as much pleasure to the life you can create if you take certain actions and associate as much pain to staying where you're currently at. Ask yourself: “What will my life be like 10 years from now if I don't make this change?” Once you've answered that, ask yourself: “What will my life be like 10 years from now if I do make this change?”
The important part of this exercise is to write down as many answers [reasons] for each of the two questions. The more answers you write down, the more effective the change will be inside you, which will translate to you wanting to take action despite fear.
2. Feel the fear and do it anyway
Fear is just an illusion – it's not real. When you feel fear of taking action, go ahead and do it anyway because once you take that action, you'll realise how easy it was and wonder why you feared it in the first place. Then the more you do it, the easier it will get until it becomes second nature. This is very similar to stepping out of your comfort zone and into your success zone – learn more about that here.
“Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.” – Dale Carnegie
I hope you got something valuable from my experience and you're more prepared to go after your dreams now!
Did you get value? Is so, I would greatly appreciate it if you commented below and shared on Facebook.
Alex Ford
Digital Marketing Trainer
Email: [email protected]
Have Questions? – Ask me on Messenger
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Great post and video. I think I should start a video challenge soon.
It’s so much fun Karishma! I was a little hesitant at first but once you do it you get so much better at it 🙂 Go for it!
We all have our success stories. Some of them may begin with fear. The fear of “what if” was my dilemma. But hey I’m happy to hear that you made the right decision Alex. I hope this year brings you even more success. Cheers!
Thank you Kenneth 🙂
Hey Alex awesome video, feel the fear and do it anyway! Thanks for sharing your story and how you overcame your fears!
Thanks Vitaliy 🙂
Thanks Alex. What a great concept: “Get leverage within yourself”. We must create enough discomfort within to want to make a change. Cheers, Ron
Sure is Ron! It’s only when we experience massive pain that we decide to make a change 🙂
Mate i remember having lunch with you and you telling me this story.
Truly, I’ve known you for a few years now mate, and when we met you were already a rockstar but now you are truly coming into your own. I so look forward to seeing where you end up & helping as many people as you can along the way.
Its an honor & privilege calling you a friend.
Haha yeah I remember tell you that too! It’s been awesome being friends and seeing your journey as well Alex 🙂 Look forwards to seeing your superstar results coming soon too!
Hey Alex… Great post… Feel the fear and do it anyway. I have an affirmation that I say… “I thrive on the feeling fear offers”. I also agree there is so much more stress and pressure with a traditional business, Yes… the many tasks, the overhead, the employees, the constant pressure of covering the nut. The time of paying everyone and taking home nothing while your were the one working the hardest and everything depending on you… I have a similar story and I’m glad that I “shrugged” all of the weight and pressure off of me.
I LOVE that saying Robert. I’m going to take it on too 🙂 It’s very easy to cling onto certainty (I know I find myself there sometimes too) but that affirmation just allows you to embrace uncertainty – which is important for success! Thanks for sharing that 🙂
And I’m right with you on the traditional business thing. That’s exactly how I felt! Glad I’m not there anymore 🙂
Wow — a really inspirational post with lots of logic running through. As fearful as you were about switching back to online business, sticking with what you were doing in traditional business stood to cost you everything you valued. Good that you dealt with your fear and figured that the switch was well worth the risk. Thanks for the lesson Alex.
Thanks Carol – glad you got some value from it 🙂 Sometimes we have to make what seems like “hard decisions” for our own good. Once we’ve make those decisions, we wonder why we thought they were so hard in the first place.
Thanks for the comment, Carol 🙂
Wow Alex,
You are truly brave. Yet everything happens for a reason. The Offline business attempt was meant to validate your Online Business and success…
Plus you would always be asking yourself what if an offline business is what I should be doing, what if this online thing doesnt work, what if what if….Success leave clues and If you have a system that works which you do. You can use it on any online Platform. Thats the beauty of online business models.
You fears indeed almost became reality. WHY? Coz you had a fear that online may not last so you tried offline in a bid to provide for and keep your family happy. Thats fear drove you.
Thank God Your Vision and your Wife’s support and tough love pulled you back where you are comfortable and happy. When you do what you love, you are happy, upbeat, positive and everything else aligns to make it all work. Your body emits happy vibes and the universe conspires to deliver to you even more of that feeling in every way.
Jules
Hey Julie! Thank you 🙂
The offline business sure did validate the online one. So grateful for that!
You’re so right. If I were still in the traditional business I’d be unhappy and still questioning myself.
Ain’t fear funny! As soon as you start fearing something, it happens – it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. So grateful to have a wife that gave me some tough love when I needed it most! Haha
Thanks for your awesome comment 🙂
Hey Alex, thanks so much for sharing. I don’t think many folk reaslise how more simplistic it is to run an online business versus a traditional brick and mortar one. Not a great lesson to have to learn but pleased you have your life back…
Absolutely Diane! It’s so simple to run one, I agree. I think most people get so caught up with thinking how “hard” it is because they have to go through a learning curve. But once you’re on the other side of that learning curve, you wonder why you made such a big deal of it in the first place haha
I am thrilled you have taken back the online route Alex. The value and inspiration you are providing is just awesome and I just love reading and learning from your posts. You wife is one smart women!!! Fantastic you can truly enjoy your family now without all the stress. Great post
Cheers, Sharon
Thanks Sharon!
It certainly was an experience but I’m grateful for it because it showed me how much more amazing online business is 🙂
I’m glad to know that you’re getting so much value from my posts!