Have you ever been through tough times and it felt almost impossible to overcome them? Maybe it was a business where you ran into financial hardship? Or you went through a rough patch in your relationship?
In this post I share how to not just get through challenging situations but how to break through them. You see, often we go through tough things in life and even though you might get through them, they just seem to happen over and over again. So my aim for this post is to bring awareness to a necessary skill (which you already have) for breaking through challenging situations.
Decisions shape your life and destiny
Let me ask you two questions. Can you think of a decision you made a long time ago that made a huge difference to your life? What if you made a different decision in that moment, do you think your life would be drastically different today?
The first step to overcoming tough times is understanding that break throughs lie in your moments of decision. If you answered the two questions above, you would have realised that where youβre at in your life today is the result of many decisions youβve made in the past. So for you to break through tough times and take your life to the next level, you must start making new and more effective decisions today.
How powerful are your decisions?
Did you know that you make hundreds, if not thousands, of decisions everyday? Many are basic decisions like getting out of bed, brushing your teeth and what clothes to wear – even reading this post started with a decision. Then there are big decisions like buying a car or house, making that sales call or starting a business.
The problem many people face when it comes to decisions is that they make ineffective ones that donβt allow them to break through and create the life they want. Those decisions, or lack of decisions, could be due to doubt, fear or lack of belief in themselves just to name a few. But for one to really break through, they must make bold, effective decisions.
So how do you make powerful decisions? Let me explainβ¦
Three decisions youβre making at every moment
Did you know that you make 3 decisions at every moment of your life? Even right now youβre making these 3 decisions. And depending on how effective you make these decisions determines how effective the results you get are.
Iβve previously explained in a post how the quality of a personβs life is the quality of their internal communication. Basically, the thoughts you have determines how you feel and how you feel determines the type of actions you take (read more about that here). See the following diagram:
Think β> Feel β> Behave
So if youβre having negative thoughts and feelings, do you think youβll make effective or ineffective decisions? Ineffective of course! And if youβre having positive and expectant feelings, do you think youβll make ineffective or effective decisions? Effective ones of course!
However, thereβs one more part to this equation and thatβs the equation on how to control the way you think. If you can control the way you think, you can change your life and results. So letβs get to the juice of this article – those 3 questions that can help you in breaking through tough times.
Decision 1. What do I focus on?
Did you know that what you focus on, you feel? And what you focus on is also what you get more of in your life. See the following diagram:
Focus = feeling
Have you ever met someone that believes everyone is out to get them? I know I have! These people are some of the angriest and unhappiest people youβll ever meet. If youβre in sales, you've probably experienced these people who are constantly trying to expose how youβre βtrying to take advantage of them.β Itβs not a fun experience! And if you made a genuine mistake in the sales process, theyβll abuse you for “taking advantage” of them and wonβt give you the space to explain to them why it was a genuine mistake. Because this type of person is constantly focused on how everyoneβs out to get them, they act in ways that creates more negative results for them. And when theyβre feeling negative, angry feelings all the time, do you think theyβll be able to make effective decisions to get better results in their lives? Of course not! Because all theyβre focused on is in trying to figure out how other people are taking advantage of them.
On the other hand, if this customer was compassionate and they understood that everyone makes mistakes, the sales person would have a much more enjoyable time and he or she would go above and beyond for their customer – even after the mistake.
What about if youβre a business owner? Do you think youβd get different results if you were focused on your own needs versus your customers needs?
What about focusing on what you canβt control? Do you think youβd get different results compared to focusing on what you can control?
What about focusing on how something didnβt work compared to focusing on what you learned from the experience so you can do it better next time? Do you think your results would be different?
And how are you making this decision right now? Well, you could be worried (focused) on figuring out where youβre going to get money to pay your bills this week or if your kids are safe. Or you could be focused on soaking up as much of this information so you can implement it to get better results in your life.
I think you get the picture now. Remember, what you focus on, you feel; and the way you feel determines the decisions you make and actions you follow through with.
Decision 2. What does it mean?
The next question youβre constantly asking yourself is figuring out what meaning to give a situation or circumstance.
I remember a few years ago, my father owned a business and he would often say that he wanted his children to take over the business soon because he was getting too old for it – he was 50. He had grown tired and was worn out. Once, I mentioned to him that a lot of people become wealthy at his age because they have an advantage – their kids are grown up so they have more time, energy and money to focus on creating financial success. He didnβt listen to me at the time. However, after seeing my personal development journey and results, he opened up to the idea and today heβs more fired up about creating financial success than ever. He has huge business goals and plans heβs implementing and has already told me that heβs certain heβs going to be a millionaire within a few years.
BTW – If you're reading this Dad, I'm proud of you!
So what changed for my dad? Well, previously the meaning he gave to his health and business was that βitβs the endβ and therefore he was ready to move on from it. However, today heβs changed his meaning to βitβs the beginningβ and thatβs allowed him to see even greater opportunities, focus on his own personal development and make more effective decisions, that Iβm 100% convinced will help him reach his goal of becoming a millionaire.
Something many people fall prey to, especially in business, is that when the economy slows down they give it the meaning that “it's the end”. When they give it than meaning, they spend less money on advertising, they stop seeking new customers and eventually their business fails. Then they affirm to themselves βI knew it. The economy really is bad.β Do you see how that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy?
On the other hand, successful people understand that when the economy slows down itβs the greatest opportunity to ever happen – that itβs the beginning of something new. So what do they do differently as a result of this empowering meaning? They put their focus on where peopleβs needs have gone (new market opportunities) and they know that a slow economy filters out all the incompetent business owners who rode the trend while the economy was booming. To them, a slow economy means more opportunities and profit because theyβre a competent business owner and all the business ends up going to them.
When you give a negative, disempowering meaning to a situation or circumstance, ask yourself βIs this a problem? Or is this an opportunity?β Another great question to ask is βWhat is the gift in this?β
How are you making this decisions right now? Well, you could give this post the meaning that itβs all B.S. You could be saying to yourself βHow could my thoughts determine my feelings and my feelings determine the actions I take. This is B.S. Iβm going to go get a beer instead – thatβll make me feel better!β Or you could give it the meaning: βWow, this is powerful stuff! Iβm really going to implement this so I can find out for myself and see if I really can get better results by changing my thoughts.β
Remember, when you get a meaning you get a feeling and when you get a feeling youβre going to take action based on that feeling. Your feelings always control what you do, which leads us to the third question youβre constantly asking yourself.
Decision 3. What should I do?
As I mentioned before, if youβre a business owner and you give the economy the meaning that βitβs slow and itβs hard for all business ownersβ, youβre going to take specific actions, like cutting back on your advertising budget, which will result in less customers, less income and eventually the shutting down of your business. Again, a self-fulfilling prophecy based on your thoughts, feelings, decisions and actions.
How would this work in a relationship? Well, if you gave your relationship the meaning that βitβs the endβ, do you think youβll treat it much differently compared to if you gave it the meaning that βitβs the beginningβ? I know Iβve experience both sides of the coin. When youβre in a new relationship itβs so easy to βdie to yourselfβ and happily do everything your partner asks you to. But after a few years when your partner asks you to do something, itβs easy to get angry and say to them βWhy are you always hassling me to do it!? Youβre just as capable!β Itβs in moments like these that relationships start to fail and by giving it the meaning that “it's the end” often ends up creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. The best way to get a break through in this situation is to start giving your relationship the meaning that βitβs the beginning and an opportunity to learn, grow, give more and take this relationship to the next levelβ and then follow through with actions that are in alignment with that meaning.
Conclusion
Remember, to change your life, you must change your decisions; and to change your decisions, you must change the way you think. Decision-making is the power to breaking through tough times!
To conclude, I want to leave you with four questions to ask yourself:
What was one of the worst decisions youβve ever made?
What did you learn from it?
What has been one of your greatest successes?
What did you learn from it?
Did you get value? Is so, I would greatly appreciate it if you commented below and shared on Facebook.

Alex Ford
Digital MarketingΒ Trainer
Email: [email protected]
HaveΒ Questions?Β βΒ Ask me on Messenger
If you enjoyed this post on Breaking Through Tough Times free to share.
Such a value packed post Alex! All great questions to ask in reference to how our decisions impact the outcomes in our lives. Change starts within and that is wonderful that your Dad is looking at things as the beginning seeing all the opportunities vs. the end. Thank you for sharing in order to show others what’s possible. π
You’re welcome Brian and Felicia π Change certainly starts within!
Thanks for your comment.
Really like the THINK – FEEL – BEHAVE diagram Alex. So simple yet so powerful.
Too many people are unaware of the hidden engine behind their decision and behaviour but when you break it down like that it’s so easy to understand.
I used to (and sometimes still do) bemoan my misfortune wondering why did this happen. But the answers is always in my thinking (and correcting it).
It is really important to always think of why things are happening and try to find the reason to be yourself. If you don’t take responsibility for your own actions you quickly fall into the victim mindset and that is a dangerous road to go down.
So right Nathan! Itβs all about taking responsibility and making effective decisions to change your life.
Thanks for commenting π
It’s awesome isn’t it, Joe!
I totally know what you mean. These days when something doesn’t work out I won’t look at the situation; rather I’ll look at my own thinking and correct it.
Thanks for commenting π
Awesome post as always Alex. I’ve been through the toughest time in my life just a year ago when I fell into deep debt and this experience has really taught me a lot. I’ve learned how to value money and to live modestly within our means. I definitely agree that mindset and decision-making goes hand-in-hand and that every wrong decision we make bears a lesson that we can learn from to avoid doing the same mistakes again.
Thanks Noel!
I know exactly what you’ve been through because I went through it as well. I learned the same thing as well.. to value money, live beneath my means and bad debt is not cool.
Thanks for your comment π
There’s a lot of misconceptions about how our thoughts affect our behavior out in the world. I think the only really valid one is to have positive thoughts and to take action, preferably massive action.
People being stuck in negative mindsets will always focus their energy on negative things and bring you down, not necessarily intentionally but still…
So true Nathan. If you change your thoughts to positive ones, your life will be more positive and enjoyable!
Thanks for commenting π
Holy moly I have lived a ‘hard’ life but would not change it for anything. Decisions I think make all of our lives we just get to choose which way our life goes. On my 15th birthday I was diagnosed with an agressive bone cancer and I make the decision to live…..two years later… learning to walk again and 32 surgeries ….rounds of chemo etc etc…..Point is now in my life changing my thinking and my patterns is huge and I know I can do anything if I just choose it.
Wow, thanks for sharing such personal details, Brittany! And so good that you’re making changes in your life. I haven’t experienced what you’re going through but I know of people who have overcome such challenging situations.
I’d recommend to get a hold of Dr Robert O. Young’s book The pH Miracle or Tony Robbin’s Living Health program. It will help you with what you’re currently going through!
Thanks for your comment π
thanks for sharing these amazing tips
You’re welcome Sheena!
Nicely put Alex. Great questions: What do I focus on? What does it mean? and What should I do? Effective tools for gaining clarity and moving in our desired direction.
They’re powerful questions, Rebecca! And they can change the direction of a person’s life in an instant.
Thanks for commenting π
Love the photo! Love your energy! You have so much to give! A bit overwhelming with the way the page has so many things to click on but that ‘s just me! And I admire your courage to get yourself out there. I’m not quite there yet π All the best xx
Thanks Louise!
That’s the beauty of blogging… you can share your truth with the world.
You’ll get there Louise π
My worst decision was when I didn’t listen to my intuition about something being too good to be true. I learned to always trust my intuition on these things. And my best decision was to move on from any past hurt (that one, and others) and it has brought me so much more peace and happiness in my life!
That’s awesome Sandra! It’s powerful when we can learn what the gift in any perceive bad situation is. It truly changes our lives in every way!
Thanks for sharing π